Melvin
by oneofmanni
Summary: The Night Vale Orphanage is under construction.
1. Night Vale Orphanage

"The sky is blue today. Ominously blue. Be sure to keep the location on your phone turned on for the next twenty-four hours…

Welcome...to Night Vale."

* * *

City Council has announced the opening of a new orphanage opening on 1606 Somerset, near the dog park. The news has some citizens nervous, given that the last orphanage was abandoned years ago. The only current residences of the building are small white floating spheres that, if you get close enough, will whisper a lovely lullaby that causes your body to ache for days afterwards, having you clutch at your chest at random times and sobbing uncontrollably for a life you were never apart of, and yet, will feel as if you had experienced the same pain as the child of whom was once a small inhabitant of the living. By the fifth day, your eyes would bleed endlessly, and by the sixth day, you would wander aimlessly around Night Vale until you reached the abandoned orphanage once more. You would find yourself filling out the required papers, and walk home with the same floating orb so they could become one of your family.

Construction of the new orphanage will begin Friday, and end whenever the construction crew looks around at the work they've done, slips their thumbs into their belt loops, and say, "Eh, could be worse."

* * *

The Sheriff's Secret Police would like to remind everyone that the screaming that has been heard for hours now is under control. They are close to finding the source of the screaming and silence it by any means necessary. Local Night Vale citizens are responding to the Secret Police that the screaming has turned from a omen to an increasing annoyance.

"I can't even hear myself making coffee!" says Frances Donaldson, manager of the Antiques Mall on Desert Elm Drive. "How am I supposed to focus my hateful thoughts into my grinding if I can't even hear myself think?!"

Simone Rigadeau, the transient living in the abandoned Earth Sciences Building, says that the screaming is a sign for one person in Night Vale.

"The screaming comes from one of the children," she says. "One of the children has finally found their family, and their family has not noticed yet. They scream out for their family to hear, but they have not listened.

"The children know best," Simone finally said. "The children always know best…"

I have to agree with Frances on this one, folks. Not being able to hear your hateful, vengeful thoughts while making coffee should be a crime. Have you ever tasted coffee that was ground with happiness? Sadness? White noise? It's disgusting.

I had went to the Barista District to have a nice cup of coffee. The Barista that was making my coffee was smiling the entire time they were grinding. My cup was offered, and I thanked the barista, took a sip of my coffee, and on reflex, spat it back out. The entire shop went silent. The barista that had made my coffee was dragged into the back room. There was a wet, drowning scream, a juicy crack of muscle and bone, and then nothing.

The two baristas that had dragged the disgraced barista in the back room came out and apologized to me, and offered to make me a coffee on the house. I agreed, and along with hateful thoughts they added an anger fueled scream as whole beans turned into fine grain. What an _honor_!

* * *

And now it's time for this week's horoscopes!"

 _Leo_ : Happy birthday, Leo! Happy unknowing future where you just might die on your birthday, Leo! Happy wouldn't it be ironic for you to die on your day of birth, Leo? You just might find out! Who knows what the future will bring? Will you even _have_ a future? Tell your loved ones you love them, Leo. You don't know how much time you have left...

Ahaha! Just kidding! We got you Leo! We _got_ you!

 _Virgo_ : You seem a little tense, Virgo. Everything seems like it needs to be done; you can't quite possibly get it all finished in time! Here's what you should do: take all your books and paperwork, and gently set it underneath your rug. Place the rug over your work. Wait a few hours and boom! It will be done! The Universe has done it for you for a small favor to be cashed in at a later time! When you least expect it...

 _Libra_ : Didn't you have a doctors appointment today? Better get a move on!

 _Scorpio_ : Heaven is a place on Earth. Hell is also a place on Earth. Your vacation time expires in just a few weeks, Scorpio. You need to choose _now_.

 _Sagittarius_ : Hey. it's going to be okay. You've been holding your breath for years now. It's time to exhale. If your lungs have already exploded well...sorry, I guess.

 _Capricorn_ : It's your turn now, Capricorn. Good luck.

 _Aquarius_ : The sun will shine on your life soon. Change is coming. You will not be disappointed when it comes.

 _Pisces_ : _You've just won a brand new-_ Oh. Oh my. _Ohhhhh myyyyyy….._

 _Aries_ : Procrastination gets you nowhere. Fix. The. Sink. Already.

 _Taurus_ : The next few months are going to be confusing. You will appreciate the change that is coming.

 _Gemini_ : Your son was the one that chewed on your new stilettos. Stop blaming the dog. She is a good girl and did nothing wrong. Except for peeing on the carpet that one time. She was mad at you. And you deserved it.

And finally, _Cancer_ : Do you really need another porcelain doll? The other ones keep you up at night with their glowing eyes and constant conversation about the economic advantages of grass. You wake up at 3 in the morning to go to work. Have a talk with your dolls about keeping it down at night before adding another voice to the conversation.

This has been this week's horoscopes!

* * *

An update on the Night Vale Orphanage: the construction crew apologizes for the delay, but it seems that the white orbs of the past orphans have escaped and scattered across Night Vale. They say that the orbs were buzzing and chattering about finally being able to go outside when the latch on the cage holding them suddenly sprang loose, freeing all the orphaned orbs. The orbs quickly took off, delighted that they were finally able to go outside after the decades of being stuck in the abandoned building.

In other news, the screaming heard all over Night Vale has stopped. It is uncertain whether the two stories correlate.

And now, the Weather.

* * *

The orbs that were roaming over Night Vale have been captured and put into a new cage where authorities are certain that they won't be able to get out again. The construction crew on site says that one orb didn't get out of the cage when the latch broke. It stayed, floating and doing loop-de-loops that entertained the crew that didn't run after the other orphans. When questioned about why it stayed in the cage, the orb rotated and let out a high pitched beep. The construction crew awed, and the orb fluttered around until the other orphans were retrieved.

Oddly enough, not one of the orbs sang their soul shattering lullaby. Mesika James, head of the abandoned Night Vale Orphanage, stated, "The orphan's lullaby can only be heard by their future families, and only at the right time. Say you have two people from different families. An orb will sing their lullaby in front of both of them, and only one person will hear it. That person would be their new family." Mesika shrugged. "I don't know why but that's just what happens!"

Oh! Listeners! Carlos is in the booth with me, say hello Carlos.

"Hello, Carlos."

Oh, _you_. And he's here just in time! Listeners, one of the women from the construction crew recorded the orb that stayed in the cage! She said she wanted me to play it over the radio so that if anyone heard it, they can go through the six days of agony and come adopt this little cutie. If anyone hears this, that means it's time to expand your family and give this little orphan a home. Okay, I'm playing the recording... _now_!

* * *

I...I...Oh. Oh my. This...this is so sudden...Carlos?

"No, no, I heard it too."

I see. Well, listeners, my chest is already starting to ache so I'm going to (ack!) end the show here.

Good night, Night Vale! Good _Nigh-_ "

" _Cecil!_ "


	2. Black Holes and Beginnings

The stairway to heaven is made of the memories that made you think you were going to hell…

Welcome to Night Vale.

* * *

Former mayor Pamela Winchell has, yet again, called a press conference regarding the Night Vale Orphanage construction site. She has gathered journalists around a collapsible podium outside the Night Vale City Hall requesting updates on whether or not the orphaned orbs will be properly housed, or if they will stay caged up outside the construction site. Citizens have agreed with Pamela Winchell, holding up signs that say things like "The Orbs are People Too!" and "WWAD?: What Would Annie Do?"

"Are we not all Night Vale citizens? Shouldn't the orphaned orbs get homes as well? And how will they be adopted? Are they getting fed? Do they need food? These are the questions that need to be asked, Night Vale!" Pamela Winchell exclaimed fervently. She then partially covered the mic with her hand, waved one of the journalists over, and asked, "Do they need food?"

The construction site has had some...well? I don't think you would be able to call it a setback, but it's had a definite change that wasn't scheduled or planned. A few days ago, the building started to glow an odd shade of fluorescent beige. The building then started to shake violently, floating several feet off the ground. There was a roar that tapered off into a scream, and the building then slowly disappeared into itself, an invisible black hole liquefying the building and sucking it up until there was nothing left but an untouched field. No crater where the orphanage basement was, no blood stone circle that was behind the faded basketball court, as if there was never an abandoned orphanage in the first place.

Carlos has notified me that the scientific term that happened was the process of 'spaghettification.'

...now, you know how valuable Carlos's scientific opinion is to me but...that just doesn't seem right. He told me that anything that gets near enough to the center of a black hole goes through this process, but City Council has notified all black holes within the vicinity that wheat and wheat by-products cannot be within the city limits, spaghetti being one of the many foods that we can no longer enjoy. But then again, black holes have always been naughty little rascals, doing things like abducting commercial airliners and making them appear in gymnasiums, double parking, cutting in line at the Ralph's, and other things that make them both troublesome and annoying.

City Council has not replied to my questions regarding the construction. When I went by City Hall to ask them a few questions, their office was piled with papers, reaching up almost to the ceiling. I knocked on the door frame and cleared my throat to let them know I was there, and they stopped frantically shredding, looked in my direction, reached out a long limb, and slammed the door in my face.

More on this as I rub my still aching nose. They didn't give me much time to step back.

* * *

Some of you have been asking what happened to the orphan orb that chose Carlos and I as its family. Well, let me start at the beginning:

Carlos and I went through the five days of agony, talking through the spasms of pain about whether or not we were ready to have a child. I mean, it was a very big step for us. Our chests felt as if they were being squeezed by a very large hand, our heart beats irregular and loud, and our hands shook as we tried to hold each other through the pain.

I don't think our hands shook because of the lullaby, Listeners. Our hands shook because our family was about to get bigger. We were nervous, we were excited, we were...afraid? We were afraid of this orphan, and, if I may be honest, we still are. What if they chose wrong? What if we were not the family that it thought we were going to be? What if...Listeners, we all know that after the orb lives with their new families for a month, they choose the form that they are going to be in for the rest of their lives; that after a month the orb will not just feel the families names but will then grow eyes to finally see what their families look like.

...what if the child that finally forms doesn't like us, Listeners?

I... I need to calm down for a moment. Ah, lets...lets look at today's sponsors.

* * *

A single leaf falls to the sidewalk.

You watch it as it flips, as it twirls. Beyond the leaf, you see your mother. She has not seen the sky in so many months except for glimpses of clouds outside her hospital window. You both gaze at the world around you: moving cars, flying airplanes, other patients being released.

Your mother catches your eye and she nods. You push her to the side of the hospital where there's a little garden. You find a tree with bright, vibrant flowers beside it. You reach for the handles to park the wheels, and your mother playfully slaps your hands. You smile as she parks the chair herself. You are both silent. You can hear a fountain in the distance, the only sound outside of wheels on roads and the wind in the trees.

You want to ask her so many things, but you know now is not the time. This is the beginning, and the best beginnings are when you can choose when they begin. Your mother inhales deeply, and exhales slowly until there is no air left. Then, she begins. A small sound at first, then louder and louder and louder. She is laughing. And then you are laughing too. You are both laughing and there are tears streaming down your face and tears fall from her eyes. You laugh until you both can laugh no more. More silence.

"You ready?" She asks.

You nod, and you take out your phone. You start recording as your mother starts to position her hands. She inhales deeply.

And then, slowly, she stands up.

This message brought to you by That One Rock That No One Touches Because of the Slight Chance it May Not Be A Rock.

* * *

Okay. I've composed myself. I'm sorry, Listeners. There's just been a lot going in my life. Not bad, of course, but...emotional.

The Sheriff's Secret Police has now focused its entirety on ticketing black holes for breaking the law on wheat and wheat by-products. They don't care in what state it's in, spaghetti is spaghetti, and it is ILLEGAL. Citizens are encouraged to keep an eye out for any black holes they see, and to tell the Secret Police immediately. Pull out your new edition Alert Citizens cards, rub the scented square that says "The Smell After You've Had a Good Cry" on the back, and inhale sharply. When you wake up, your Citizen's card will be punched, and you will find a carefully embroidered pillow underneath your head.

"They will need that pillow in the future," the Secret Police has informed me. "For what? Who knows? No one knows when they'll need a pillow, and then 'Bam!' They really need a pillow!

"We're just looking out for you," The Secret Police concluded.

And now, the Weather.

* * *

On the sixth day, after the blood finally cleared from our eyes, we wandered to the Night Vale Orphanage construction site. The orbs were caged across the street, and Mesika James sat next to them behind an old oak desk with a lamp that wasn't connected to anything, but was on filled out the required paperwork, and gazed into the caged orbs. They looked...different. They all looked dim, moving slowly around the cage and bumping into each other even though they had plenty of time to change their trajectory.

Then, we saw them: a bright, vibrant orb that did not move, floating in the cage, as if it were watching Carlos and I.

"Is that the one that called out to you?" Mesika James asked.

And in unison, Carlos and I said, "Yes."

Mesika smiled. "It's a smart one, that one is. That one has been in the orphanage since the early 1900s! The oldest one of the bunch, it is!"

Mesika made her way to the cage, and opened the door. The other orbs slowly moved out of her way as she cupped our orb into her hands.

"The other ones won't try to escape," she reassured us. "It's not their turn, it's not."

She closed the door, and the remaining orbs sprung to life, zipping around the cage and glowing brighter than ever. They all beeped in unison, saying goodbye or, quite possibly, a see-you-later. Our orb chirped back.

Mesika held her hands out, and Carlos and I cupped our hands together. Mesika let the orb float down into our hands, and… I remembered holding Janice in my arms for the first time. She was so small, so ready for the world, so beautiful. I felt all of these emotions now, as both Carlos and I held our new child in our hands. I saw Carlos's eyes well up, and I knew he felt the exact way I was feeling, right in that exact moment, and for that moment, we were not afraid if this child was not going to like us. We knew we would love them with all of our hearts, no matter who they were. We both sighed.

"They look about four or five years old," Mesika said. "They'll start growing after they get used to their form."

"Do they have a name?" Carlos asked.

"Ask them," Mesika said.

We gazed at the orb in our hands, and asked, together: "What's your name?"

The orb beeped and buzzed.

Carlos and I looked at each other, and smiled.

"It's perfect," I said.

And we took them home.

Stay tuned next for a child explaining what they just did yesterday, including side conversations when the child forgets what they're talking about and an editorial from his parents.

Goodnight, Night Vale, and goodnight, Melvin.

Goodnight.


End file.
